My Attempt At Tackling The Big Question: Is Wrestling Fake?

(Aplogies in advance for all of the capitalized words. I'm not yelling at you. Certain words really just need the extra stress here.)

Professional wrestling's public image can be summed up in one four-letter word: FAKE. Pro wrestling is fake. That's the first thing that comes to most people's minds. Non-fans use it's supposed lack of authenticity as a reason to deride it. Fans also know that wrestling is fake, but choose to enjoy it anyway. Even some of the workers refer to it as fake. This is the kind of thing that EVERYBODY has an opinion on.

My answer is that "Is wrestling fake?" is the wrong question to ask. By asking if wrestling is fake, you are assigning it a job it isn't meant to fulfill: athletic COMPETITION. Baseball is an athletic competition. Soccer is an athletic competition. A marathon is an athletic competition. Professional wrestling is a THEATRICAL athletic EXHIBITION. Asking wrestling to be a competitive sport is like asking baseball to be a cooking show. So, pro wrestling is condemned as phony and NOT ONE PERSON ever, ever takes Major League Baseball to task for their failure to produce a decent creme brulee.

The distinction between being a competition and an exhibition, never mind one that is intentionally theatrical, never seems to cross any body's mind. It's the leap that no one can seem to make. It's the PR hurdle that no one can clear. Lack of understanding and misplaced expectations are pro wrestling's biggest obstacles to becoming accepted. They are also both the result of the way wrestling has chosen to package itself.

Let's talk about The Lord Of The Rings movie franchise. Award-winning. Critically acclaimed. Loved by many moviegoers. One of the biggest stars of the movie is Orlando Bloom, who plays the elf Legolas. He's featured prominently in all three films. If gossip is to be believed, he will appear as Legolas in the movie The Hobbit. His face is on thousands of toys, posters, books, video games, etc. If you mention Legolas in conversation, chances are that the face seen in the mind of the person you are speaking to will be Orlando Bloom's.

Yet, he does not show up to The Tonight Show or the Oscars dressed as Legolas. He doesn't carry a bow in public and doesn't have pointy ears. We don't expect him too. As much as we get immersed in the story of hobbits and magic rings, we know that it is just a story. The people on the screen are just actors and actresses, playing their parts. Movie clips aside, there is no attempt to portray them otherwise.

Pro wrestling doesn't take this route. You see, we aren't really trying to kill each other. When I'm trapped in an ankle lock, I'm only pretending to be in pain. I'm not a West Virginia hillbilly and my opponent isn't really an Egyptian prince. Kamala isn't really from the jungles of Uganda. The Undertaker isn't really a zombie. But we want you to think that we are. We want you to question whether what you see is legitimate. We are so willing to convince you that we are willing to take the act outside of the ring. Terry Bollea doesn't make public appearances. Hulk Hogan does. Then there's that wrestler who got hit in the head with that steel chair, the shot you thought looked so fake. He's walking out of the building with his head bandaged up. That Egyptian prince is still speaking in his heavy accent, even after the show is over.

That is the problem. Wrestling wants it both ways. And can't have it anymore. The public is wise to it. There are countless sources of video footage available explaining various aspects of the business. The charade needs to stop. Pro Wrestling is the mom and dad who tell their child that Santa is make-believe, but still write "From Santa" on the Christmas presents. When the child says that Santa isn't real, the mom and dad say" Of course he's real. He DID leave you presents. He even ate the cookies we left out."

This subject is heading into Tangentville, so I'll wrap this up. To the critics: Pro wrestling isn't a competitive sport. It has more in common with a Broadway play than with the NFL. Get over it. Stop holding it up to standards that it isn't designed to meet. To wrestling itself: Maybe it's time for a fresh approach. Maybe it's time to show people how deep and varied wrestling is. Maybe it's time for someone to break the mold.