Does It Hurt?

This question goes hand-in-hand with "Is it real?" The answer is simple enough, but may yet cause confusion: sometimes. It seems like a cop out, but it's not and I'll tell you why.

I first have to tell you how a ring is put together. It is not a trampoline. It is not a mattress. There is a steel frame with a lattice of steel bars criss-crossing the middle. There may or may not be a spring in the middle. It doesn't matter. The difference a spring makes is minimal. On top of that spring is a layer of 2x6 boards. On top of the boards is a thin layer(about an inch/ 3 or 4 centimeters) of padding. On top of the padding is the canvas. The ropes can be rubber hose or steel cable wrapped in tape(padding optional.) There may be other rope materials, but hose and cable are the only two I've ever seen. The ring is "softer" in the middle, if only because there is more give there. That's it.

Bumping hurts a lot the first few times you do it. I remember being so sore after my first practice that I couldn't lift my hands to my head to shampoo my hair. You get used to it, but it's not uncommon to feel a little banged up after a match or practice.

Most of the discomfort associated with wrestling can be overcome by just "getting used to it." Bumping, hitting the ropes, getting thrown into the turnbuckles, etc are all things that hurt at first. You get used to it. That doesn't mean you can't get hurt. I still get bruised up now and then.

Gravity is you biggest enemy. Regardless of your opinion of wrestling's authenticity, you can't deny gravity. Wrestlers are falling down all the time. On purpose. We know how to fall in such a way that we can minimize the chance of injury, but it doesn't mean you don't get hurt. Bad shoulders, knees, necks, backs, and ankles are very common. These injuries are common because those are the body parts that are absorbing the constant impact.

I have been injured a few times. I have had countless friction burns and a few bloody noses. I had hemorrhagic bursitis in my left elbow from bumping during practice. That means I busted the bursa sack in my elbow and it filled up with blood. For a few weeks, it looked like I had a tennis ball in my elbow. There was an unpadded part in the ring, and my elbow found it. I recently reinjured my left elbow. It didn't swell up like before, but it is very uncomfortable to put any pressure on it.

At about 1:15 in the clip above, my opponent goes for a move called a jawbreaker(which I fuck up, but that's another story). The move involves one man grabbing the other man by the head, positioning the other guy's jaw on top of his head, and dropping to his butt or knees. The guy taking the move drops to his knees and "sells" that he just hurt his jaw. During this jawbreaker I had my teeth clenched, so they clacked together. One of lower teeth came halfway out of my jaw. You can actually see me checking my mouth after the move. I had to push the tooth back into my gums. I couldn't eat solid food comfortably for almost a month. All because I had my teeth clenched during a simple move.

I don't have the video of my biggest injury uploaded, and Blogger is being difficult about uploading it directly( I may add it in later.) I was in a battle royal. A battle royal is a match where nothing happens. You don't bump, as you can get stepped on. It's nothing but punches, chops, and kicks until you get thrown out. When I was getting eliminated, my knee swung down and hit the corner of the ring. The pain was immediate and severe. I was unable to drive home(luckily I came with my wife) and could only walk with a pronounced limp. I was unable to bend my knee at all.

Being the stubborn jackass I am, I waited 5 whole weeks before I went to the doctor. I even wrestled once or twice on it. When all was said and done, I had torn my LCL( since healed) and PCL( never to be fully healed). My kneecap had also calcified, thanks to my waiting so long to seek medical attantion, and was deemed beyond fixing. To make a long story short, it is 18 months later and I still have a hard time getting around. It took almost a year before I could walk down stairs without unbearable pain. Kneeling is still incredibly uncomfortable. Bad weather can make the pain so bad that I end up limping again. I am unable to jog and/or run for more than a few minutes at a time. My right knee will never be 100% ever again.

So... yes. It hurts. You can get injured. You can be as careful as careful can be. It doesn't matter. You are doing things the human body wasn't meant to do. Very few wrestlers get through unscathed. Why do it then?

It's just worth it to live your dream.

My Attempt At Tackling The Big Question: Is Wrestling Fake?

(Aplogies in advance for all of the capitalized words. I'm not yelling at you. Certain words really just need the extra stress here.)

Professional wrestling's public image can be summed up in one four-letter word: FAKE. Pro wrestling is fake. That's the first thing that comes to most people's minds. Non-fans use it's supposed lack of authenticity as a reason to deride it. Fans also know that wrestling is fake, but choose to enjoy it anyway. Even some of the workers refer to it as fake. This is the kind of thing that EVERYBODY has an opinion on.

My answer is that "Is wrestling fake?" is the wrong question to ask. By asking if wrestling is fake, you are assigning it a job it isn't meant to fulfill: athletic COMPETITION. Baseball is an athletic competition. Soccer is an athletic competition. A marathon is an athletic competition. Professional wrestling is a THEATRICAL athletic EXHIBITION. Asking wrestling to be a competitive sport is like asking baseball to be a cooking show. So, pro wrestling is condemned as phony and NOT ONE PERSON ever, ever takes Major League Baseball to task for their failure to produce a decent creme brulee.

The distinction between being a competition and an exhibition, never mind one that is intentionally theatrical, never seems to cross any body's mind. It's the leap that no one can seem to make. It's the PR hurdle that no one can clear. Lack of understanding and misplaced expectations are pro wrestling's biggest obstacles to becoming accepted. They are also both the result of the way wrestling has chosen to package itself.

Let's talk about The Lord Of The Rings movie franchise. Award-winning. Critically acclaimed. Loved by many moviegoers. One of the biggest stars of the movie is Orlando Bloom, who plays the elf Legolas. He's featured prominently in all three films. If gossip is to be believed, he will appear as Legolas in the movie The Hobbit. His face is on thousands of toys, posters, books, video games, etc. If you mention Legolas in conversation, chances are that the face seen in the mind of the person you are speaking to will be Orlando Bloom's.

Yet, he does not show up to The Tonight Show or the Oscars dressed as Legolas. He doesn't carry a bow in public and doesn't have pointy ears. We don't expect him too. As much as we get immersed in the story of hobbits and magic rings, we know that it is just a story. The people on the screen are just actors and actresses, playing their parts. Movie clips aside, there is no attempt to portray them otherwise.

Pro wrestling doesn't take this route. You see, we aren't really trying to kill each other. When I'm trapped in an ankle lock, I'm only pretending to be in pain. I'm not a West Virginia hillbilly and my opponent isn't really an Egyptian prince. Kamala isn't really from the jungles of Uganda. The Undertaker isn't really a zombie. But we want you to think that we are. We want you to question whether what you see is legitimate. We are so willing to convince you that we are willing to take the act outside of the ring. Terry Bollea doesn't make public appearances. Hulk Hogan does. Then there's that wrestler who got hit in the head with that steel chair, the shot you thought looked so fake. He's walking out of the building with his head bandaged up. That Egyptian prince is still speaking in his heavy accent, even after the show is over.

That is the problem. Wrestling wants it both ways. And can't have it anymore. The public is wise to it. There are countless sources of video footage available explaining various aspects of the business. The charade needs to stop. Pro Wrestling is the mom and dad who tell their child that Santa is make-believe, but still write "From Santa" on the Christmas presents. When the child says that Santa isn't real, the mom and dad say" Of course he's real. He DID leave you presents. He even ate the cookies we left out."

This subject is heading into Tangentville, so I'll wrap this up. To the critics: Pro wrestling isn't a competitive sport. It has more in common with a Broadway play than with the NFL. Get over it. Stop holding it up to standards that it isn't designed to meet. To wrestling itself: Maybe it's time for a fresh approach. Maybe it's time to show people how deep and varied wrestling is. Maybe it's time for someone to break the mold.